First Memories

My first memories as a child were that of my grandfather, my mom’s father. We spent a lot of time at my grandparent’s home in Newbury Park, CA. He was bedridden and pale with sickness. That is how I remembered him. I have seen pictures of him in his youth full of life and vigor but I only knew him as the weakened man before the end. He passed away in 1986, the year Brian was born. With my cousin Breanne being only 1 year old, I am the only grandchild that ever had any memories of him.

Since he died when I was so young, a name or title was never truly attributed to him. In Italian, Nono means grandfather, so if things had played out differently and we had been given more time with him, we would have probably called him that. I traditionally refer to him as my mom’s father, or usually “your dad”, because 80% of the time when discussing him I am talking to my mom.

Even in my extreme youth, his death had a profound impact on my life. His death was the first death I experienced, the the only death I ever dealt with in my childhood. Spirituality, death, and the afterlife were all put into the context of his passing away. Later in my life I would try to find way to connect with him, and though I’m sure he did not see himself as much of a spiritual man, he greatly influenced my own spirituality.

Though my first confirmed memories were that of my grandfather, I have sworn I have memories of my great-grandmother (from my father’s side) though it seems impossible. I would have been around a year old when she passed away. It is possible that these memories may have exaggerated by photos or video I have seen of her but I would like to think I actually knew her.

So as can be seen, family has played a significant factor in my young life and my memories are very reflective of that. For my readers that care to comment, what were your first memories? Why do you think they had such impact on you?